A Weird Ass Gig
If you listen back to the first episode we had with Ahmed Berhan (episode 28A & 28B) you'll hear my fascination with the stand-up comedy process and you'll also hear Ahmed tell me what to do to get started. I had been told to try it before but this time I felt more pressure. This time it was on the podcast. I couldn't be that guy that talked about it and didn't "be about it".
So to this day I credit Ahmed Berhan with getting me started in stand-up. He gave me the final push I needed to start doing what I now know I love. So if Ahmed needs something then I help out. Sometimes I'm hosting at Big Ben and he wants to try out some new jokes. I got you, bruh. He wants a ride home after a gig. No problem. You look out for me all the time, I'll look out for you.
A few weeks ago Ahmed asked me to do a gig in Bredäng on September 1st. Of course, man! He had done gigs for the group that was booking it before and it was cool. Easy money! I signed on in a heartbeat. September 1st rolled around. I went out to Bredäng and saw bounce castles and children's play stations. The median age had to be between 7 and 10. There was no way I was at the right place. I saw the stage and the empty benches and knew this was it. Time to bomb in front of some kids.
My worst gig thus far involved a room full of kids at a rec center. Half of them didn't understand English. I was certain that was the case here. I started going through my jokes in my head. What would I end on? I have a joke about a surprise rectal exam. Fuck it, I'll do that. I'd be sillier than normal and then get out of there. I was scheduled to do 20-25 minutes. Ha! Sorry bro. NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO IT!
The good thing was, we all bombed. Well, not really bombed. This was just a weird ass gig. I didn't feel uncomfortable on stage (my mouth did get drier than normal, but what are you gonna do?). I powered through it and was as professional as possible. One cute little girl in the front row had a request:
- Kan du prata svenska? Jag kan inte engelska. Snälla?
My answer? Aldrig! I was on and running. There was a chubby little heckler (probably gonna be a comic one day) that was fucking with other comics before me. I was hoping he didn't say anything to me because I didn't want to have to censor my inner bully. Thankfully he just laughed at what he understood and I didn't have to talk shit to him. I like to think I did the best that I could. I was focusing on the scattered adults in the crowd and they were with me. I needed them more than they knew. I survived.
Later that night we had The Laugh House and it was awesome. Ahmed was on and he killed it in English! It was a crowd of adults that were wish me the whole night. It was much needed after that weird ass gig. Until next time..