My Dumbest, Most Embarrassing Crush


Music brings back memories. Some good, some bad and some embarrassing. “Crazy Over You” by 112 brings up a “What the fuck was I thinking” memory. I still love the song but it increases the cringe in me. Here’s why.

I had recently gotten out of a relationship. My best friend had become my girlfriend and we had decided friendship is better for us. I’m glad that happened, but back then I was in search mode. I carried around the “player” tag, however I was searching for something to fill a void. I didn’t know what it was. I was just a lost kid.

I had also just finished high school and didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. The Air Force was going to be in my future. My entry date was months away, so I had some time to kill. I decided to spend the last month with my mom. She was living in Michigan working as a travel nurse. Cool, Michigan! We hung out and I met her closest co-workers. One lady was very nice and sweet. PLUS, she had twin daughters around my age. I’m a twin! Can you say soul mates?!

I met the family. One of the twins was out of town. The one with a boyfriend was in town. She was cute. The mystery twin though… I had no idea! That was intriguing. I learned how smart and talented she was through her unbiased family. Mom was egging the whole thing on. I really wanted to meet this girl. I was going away to the Air Force. I was going to be a service member. In the movies they always have that woman back home that gets them through the hard time. Was this going to be my woman?

Mom had gotten another assignment in Maryland. I’d be leaving from there to the Air Force. Around that time I was really into 112’s “Room 112” album. I kept thinking about the possibilities of my future with my fellow twin. Maybe we would increase the possibility of having twins since it was in both families. Wouldn’t that be cool? Maybe her sister would become single and date Jason. Even cooler! My favorite song from that album was “Crazy Over You”. I kept it on repeat and thought about that girl that I STILL HADN’T MET.

She never made it back to Michigan before we left for Maryland. Was she going to be the one that got away? Not on my watch! I put “Crazy Over You” on repeat in the car and started writing a letter to my soulmate that I hadn’t met yet. I don’t remember exactly what I wrote and I’m pretty glad about that. I’m sure it was sappy and stupid. I know I wrote about looking forward to getting to know her and I asked her to check out that song. I hope to everything sacred that I didn’t call it “our song” but I wouldn’t be surprised if I did.

I cringe just thinking about that stupid letter and how fucking lame she thought I was when she read it. I waited every day in basic training for her return letter. It never came. That’s a good sign because at least it means she’s a sensible person. What the fuck was I thinking?!

I moved on (of course). I snapped out of my deep crush as soon as I got a whiff of another cute girl. My crush was short-lived, yet embarrassing as hell. I think about that stupid situation every time I hear that beautiful song. I sure put the “crazy” in “Crazy Over You”. Until next time…