Take Bash to Work Day

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Bash understands that Daddy goes to work. He’s actually been to my day job a few times. He asks all the time if he can come to my job. He even pretends he’s coming home from work. Or he’ll pretend he’s not home because he’s at work. I think it all stems from him wanting to be like Daddy. I’ve been there. It should wear off as he gets to know me better.

Sometimes Bash is awake when I’m heading out to go to a gig. I tell him Daddy has to work. He gets that Daddy makes people laugh (if all goes as planned). So now when I’m heading off at night, Bash sends me off with work advice.

- Daddy, say ‘Hey Macarena aaay!’

- Sure buddy! I’ll do that.

One day I’m gonna do it for real and surprise Bash with an audience going nuts for his suggestion. With my luck 20 years from now he’ll talk to his therapist about how that moment created the false confidence that ruined his life. But that’s parenting, right? Bash asks me can he come with me and of course I always have to say no. He gets a bit sad (even though his little ass would fall asleep before the show even started) but he understands. Once he said he can’t wait to be big like Daddy so he can go to my job.

I sometimes guest on a popular daily Swedish comedy podcast called AMK Morgon. My friend is the host and it’s a fun time. Apparently they have an “uppesittarkväll” every year where a bunch of regulars come on and talk shit and drink throughout the night. I was happy to be a part of this. They would be in the studio from 4pm - 10pm. The first thing that came to my mind was that this was an opportunity for Bash to see a little bit of what Daddy does. The vibe at AMK is a family vibe so of course Bash would be welcome.

Bash was indeed welcome. He wanted to wear Santa hats so I obliged with my Dolphins-inspired Santa hat. I made an afternoon of it. I picked up the kids from daycare, got Bash ready (dress him in layers, fill his backpack with superhero figurines, grab a bag of candy), said hello and goodbye to Swedie when she got home and then walked to the train station. Bash was walking like this was a scene in a romantic comedy so I put him on my shoulders. I wanted to get there before the night was over. We hopped on the subway and headed to the city.

I could see the excitement in Bash’s face. He was going to finally see Daddy’s “other” job. Maybe Daddy was gonna finally say that macarena line that would definitely kill. I asked him what he was going to say if they asked him to talk.

- I don’t know. Something funny.

That’s my boy. Confident and prepared to be quick on his feet. One day he’s gonna be known for his crowd work. He asked me for some candy. I told him after dinner. Oh shit, dinner!

We stopped at 7-11 and picked up some hot dogs and chocolate milk for my growing child. This might turn out to be his favorite night ever. What was even the point of holding off on the candy? Ah well, he’ll get vegetables when Mommy takes him to work. Dinner would be eaten on Daddy’s shoulders on the way to AMK Studios.

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We walked into a full studio. There were funny people all over and a band was on the couch. I expected this to be some sort of sensory overload for Bash. There had to be 20 people in the room. There were instruments, microphones, screens and beer bottles. How would Bash react?

My plan was to find a seat with Bash and let him get used to the environment. Kinda like the integration to daycare. I set him down and he immediately found the AMK dog (shout out to Bodil). Well, more like Bodil found Bash. She knows that with kids comes crumbs. Bodil has picked up plenty of Alli’s dropped corn snacks in the past.

A comedian in front of a microphone offered his seat to me. We would all be in and out of the program throughout. I figured this would be my one go at the mic and then we’d get out of here if Bash was uncomfortable.

To my surprise, Bash was thriving! He didn’t need any integration. He was walking around making friends. My comedian friends did a great job making him feel welcome and comfortable. For that I am more grateful than I can express. Bash sat on my lap at first while I was talking. He thought it was cool and even said something silly into the microphone. It wasn’t funny at all. Aww… he got his first bombing out of the way! He took it well. Focused on his candy. One comedian helped him get his candy open. She’s a mother, so I think she understood the dynamic more than most. Bash was in good hands the entire night.

Bash quickly tired of the microphone seat so he left me there. I figured he’d be back shortly. I was wrong. Bash was off playing with comedians and musicians. I had to stop him from playing the xylophone. I wouldn’t have dared to play a stranger’s xylophone when I was a kid! Then again my mother was a gangster mercenary and I’m the fun dad that buys hot dogs and chocolate milk for dinner before bringing my kid to a program partially sponsored by Carlsberg.

When I decided to pass the microphone to a waiting guest, I went in to the kitchen to grab a beer. I spoke with the head organizer of the evening.

- This is a really nice night. Good job with this!

- Thanks for coming.

- Thanks for letting me bring my son.

- Do you even know where you son is?

I looked over to where I last saw Bash. He was with a friend of mine. But no, my friend was alone listening in on the conversation. I looked confused/terrified and asked the question no parent wants to ever ask.

- Shit, where is he?

The guy laughed and said my child had gone to the fucking store with Petter Bristav. I like Petter. He’s funny, smart and nice and all that, but Bash doesn’t know that! Bash walked off with a got damn stranger. I knew Bash was in good hands. He had gotten a little too comfortable. Shit, I had gotten too comfortable. I’m glad I was in a room full of people that I trust.

Petter brought Bash back in one piece. He was surprised that Bash wanted to go, but figured it was alright. I was relieved that he didn’t have any crazy story. I was also relieved that Bash hadn’t asked him to buy a bunch of stuff. The payback would have come out of his Christmas present money anyway, so good on Bash that he didn’t get needy.

I was glad to see my son handling the evening so well. He’s gonna be alright in social settings. I know it technically shouldn’t matter, but let’s be real… it matters. Bash went around introducing himself and making friends. He laughed and played until his little body couldn’t take it anymore. He crashed on the kitchen floor at 8pm. I filled his backpack with his figurines. The candy was finished. The chocolate milk wasn’t.

For my part, AMK was fun as always. There was a homey, Christmas vibe in the room that I really loved. I had a good time and participated in some good conversations. There was good food, good drinks, good music and great company. It was a wonderful evening. I wish Daddy’s job could always be this nice. Until next time…

Real LifeJonathanComment