A Giant Turkey Day


Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday (close behind New Year’s). There’s food, family fellowship and football. Throw in the fact that it’s not tied to any religion and I’m all in! I refuse to miss out on a Thanksgiving celebration.

Things are different in Sweden though. They didn’t have pilgrims here learning from “Indians”, they don’t watch football and they aren’t really big on fellowshipping (just kidding). Many of the Swedes I meet have a cynical view on Thanksgiving.

- Isn’t that when they came and murdered and stole land from the natives?

As if that’s what we’re celebrating. I blame wokeness for the misinformation. Yes, a horrible genocide/overtaking happened in America. But that is NOT what Thanksgiving is about. It’s not like we begin dinner with a prayer:

- Dear Lord, thanks for the innovation of smallpox blankets…

That’s not it. We celebrate the generosity of the Native Americans. They chose to befriend the newcomers and teach them to eat the food of the land. All those Brits and Irish people landed with their food and the Natives were like, nah son. Let me show you how to really cook up some grub. And that’s what we celebrate every year. The realization that white people can’t cook.

Actually this year I teamed up with a white person to cook. My comedian friend and I always invite each other to each other’s Thanksgivings only to not be able to go because we had our own dinner parties. We decided to join forces and have “A Big Ass Thanksgiving”. The plan was to get our families and friends together and celebrate. Splitting up the responsibility would be a breath of fresh air. Plus part of the joy of this holiday is trying different dishes. A prime example is green bean casserole. My mother didn’t start making that until I was an adult. I don’t know how to make it myself. But I love green bean casserole. Guess what was on the menu this year. Damn right! Green bean muhfuggin casserole!

We rented our local party room and set it up nicely. The cooking went smoothly for the most part (I ruined my first attempt at dinner rolls so we went without). I had made a schedule this time around and I stuck to it. The stress level was low. All I worried about was keeping the food warm. The menu was extensive. We had two turkeys, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, veggie lasagna, collard greens, dressing, stuffing, cranberry sauce, peas and corn, sweet potato pie, pumpkin pie, carrot cake, rhubarb pie, apple pie, chocolate cake and I probably forgot something. My plate was a mountain.

Splitting up the hosting gave me time to take it all in. I’ve normally been too busy to enjoy it as much as I did this time. This year I was able to take a breath. I even played some Dominoes! The evening was better than I could have expected. It was such a nice night that I forgot to take pictures. I was too busy enjoying it. It was nice to see people that I’ve never met before smiling and enjoying food. It was nice to see people that I know and love enjoying the celebration of the slaughtering of an indigenous people.

I hope we can make this a tradition. Maybe get a bigger room next time or one more table (we nearly ran out of seats). The only thing that was missing was the dancing. I really wanted to get a Soul Train Line going, but that would have felt forced on this night. White people dancing combined with white people’s cooking would be an overload of awesomeness. *side note: if you don’t get it by now, I’m joking about the white people not being able to cook thing. That’s an urban legend amongst black folks (at least my family). It didn’t ring true on this night. Everything was delicious. As for white people dancing? They didn’t get the chance to break that stereotype. Maybe next time. Yeah, there needs to be a next time.

All in all, Thanksgiving was great. There was fellowship, family, fun and great food. That’s what it’s all about. Until next time…

Real LifeJonathanComment